SYNOPSIS
CHIP, a twenty-seven-year-old blast from the past, comes back to haunt ANDY AND BILLIE, also in their late twenties and now an established hard-working couple.
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OLD MOVIES, a ten-minute play
SETTING: The Hale’s one-bedroom apartment.
AT RISE: Morning. A COUPLE in bed upcenter. ANDY, a man of twenty-eight, is intently reading the Metro Section of the paper. Now BILLIE, a woman of twenty-seven, groans and pokes her head out of the covers. ANDY quickly hides the Metro section and picks up the Sports page.
BILLIE
What were you reading the Metro Section for?
ANDY
I was not. You’re seeing things.
BILLIE
No, I’m not. Where is it?
ANDY
Let me guess. You still drunk?
BILLIE
I resent that. I saw you reading the Metro section.
(SHE pulls the Sports Page away from HIM)
You’ve just opened the Sports Page. It’s freshly opened. You weren’t reading it before. You always read it first.
ANDY
Give me that goddamn paper!
(SHE holds the Sports Page playfully away from HIM, then uncovers the “Metro” section. HE snatches both away from HER, throws the Sports Page in her face, and jumps out of bed)
ANDY (cont.)
I’m going to be late for work.
(ANDY disappears backstage with the Metro section tucked firmly under his arm. The SOUND of running water. BILLIE casts the Sports Page aside and picks up the front page. ANDY comes out with a toothbrush and toothpaste in his mouth and throws his arms around HER)
ANDY (cont.)
You wanna make me those pancakes?
(ANDY marches back to the bathroom)
BILLIE
Yeah. Go on. Wash out your mouth.
(BILLIE gets up, walks to the kitchen, opens a can of beer and downs three aspirins. Then SHE starts making breakfast. ANDY, dressed in his trousers and holding his work clothes, sneaks up behind HER and grabs her beer can.)
ANDY
When are you going to stop drinking?
BILLIE
Best thing for a hangover.
ANDY
At least you’re off the Scotch.
(ANDY continues his dressing at table. HE puts on his shirt, a tie, and a white lab coat. BILLIE brings HIM a cup of coffee)
BILLIE
Late start?
ANDY
I was reading the Sports Page, remember?
BILLIE
Yeah, right.
(ANDY SLAMS his cup down into his saucer and gets up. HE picks up his briefcase)
ANDY
I’ve lost my appetite for pancakes.
(HE bends over and kisses HER, fondling HER crudely and squeezing HER to HIM.
Then HE exits. The pancakes begin to steam. SHE turns off the stove, begins to tidy up when the DOORBELL RINGS. SHE moves to the front door and opens it. A STRANGE MAN, around twenty-seven, bursts in and hugs HER tightly)
BILLIE
Chip?!
CHIP
Came to see you, hon’! Just got out! One hour ago!
BILLIE
I can’t believe it! God, Chip!
CHIP
Believe it! I’m back. Ready for the old one-two?!
(HE fakes a sparring punch to her face)
BILLIE
You’ve matured, Chip. What’s it been now?
CHIP
‘Bout five years. You’re still a knock-out.
(HE goes to check out the pancakes)
Hey, these smell good.
BILLIE
I’m in shock. How did you know we lived here?
CHIP
Don’t want to go into that. It’s good to see you!
(HE takes her roughly in his arms, gives HER a big kiss, runs his hands all over HER)
God, you feel good. So good, I could take you right here!
(HE goes to give HER another big kiss but SHE pulls away gently and negotiates HIM into ANDY’s chair by the table)
BILLIE
Andy will be really happy to see you. He was –
CHIP
Bring those pancakes over here, will you?
(SHE does so. HE rips at the food and downs it hungrily)
CHIP (cont.)
You got a job now?
BILLIE
Just getting ready. I do temp work now. Word processing.
CHIP
Well, whoopee! “Temp” work?!
BILLIE
What’s that supposed to mean?
CHIP
You were “tempting” me when we met.
(finishing pancakes)
These are good! When did you learn how to cook?
BILLIE
Leave the past alone, Chip.
CHIP
Just kidding, kid.
BILLIE
At least I know how to stand on my own.
CHIP
(pause)
Of course. You know how to cook now.
BILLIE
That’s because Andy showed me.
CHIP
He did, huh? He showed you? Yeah, he must have showed you a lot of things. A lot of things. Good old Andy.
BILLIE
How was the farm?
CHIP
Great. Hard work, fresh air. Couldn’t have been happier. Had a great time.
BILLIE
You had a good time in there?
CHIP
Yeah, I had a good time! You hear any different?
BILLIE
No.
(Pause)
Chip, I know you just got here, but –
CHIP
You’ve got to get to work?
(SHE nods)
Call in sick.
BILLIE
I don’t know. I –
CHIP
You don’t know what? If you can call in sick?
BILLIE
I can’t do that.
(CHIP is out of his chair)
That’s what other people do and that’s why I have their job.
(HE yanks her hair back and pins HER to the wall)
CHIP
Never say I can’t! You still drink like a slut?
BILLIE
Jesus, Chip!
(CHIP bends over and violently coughs up some of his pancakes. BILLIE fetches some water, then returns to pat HIM on the back)
There, there.
(Pulling HER to HIM suddenly, HE plops HER down heavily on his lap. Then HE grabs the telephone with one hand and shoves it to her ear with the other)
CHIP
What’s your work number?
(HE gropes HER silently as SHE dials the number)
BILLIE
(on phone)
Hello?…Jill?…Is Mr. Terrington in?…Tell him I can’t come in today. I’ve come down with a bad cold…Yes, call Kelly Girls, maybe you can get another temp….Ok…Sorry.
BILLIE (cont.)
(SHE hangs up)
Lay off of me!
CHIP
Kelly Girls?
BILLIE
Let me go!
CHIP
(tightening his grip on HER)
I ought to beat the shit out of you for what you did to me.
BILLIE
Come on, Chip, we were both drunk. You drove right into him.
CHIP
And whose fault was it? I took all the blame. Then you hook up with my best friend.
BILLIE
You know I always loved you.
CHIP
That’s right. You did. But now you love him. What about me?
BILLIE
I never really loved him. He was just convenient.
(pulling his hand down between her legs)
What do you want, baby? You want it right now? Come on, I’ll give it to you right here on your pancakes.
(HE gives HER a slap across the chops that sends HER flying.
The SOUND of a key in the door.
ANDY enters. Does a double-take when HE sees CHIP)
ANDY
Chip! How’s it going? I hear you got out. I was planning to meet you outside.
(ANDY gives CHIP a big hug)
BILLIE
You were? You didn’t tell me.
ANDY
You don’t read the Metro section.
CHIP
How you doin’, Andy? Feelin’ good?
ANDY
I’m great! But then I called and they told me you’d already left, so I thought, maybe he remembered how to get here?
CHIP
From that one night? I was bombed and you’d just moved in, remember? What’s with the briefcase?
ANDY
For work.
CHIP
He needs a briefcase now for work!
(goes to refrigerator and opens it)
I need a drink.
(pulls out a bottle of champagne and a plate of chocolate cake)
CHIP (cont.)
Look what we have here!
ANDY
Bit early for that, Chip. How about some more pancakes?
CHIP
Always the joker, aren’t you? Long-time-no-see friend comes home and gets coffee and pancakes? What kind of operation you think this is?
ANDY
I just meant that maybe we could have that tonight?
(pause)
You’re looking good, you know that?
CHIP
(starts to remove cork from bottle)
Had a lot of time to work out in there. Work out my body.
BILLIE
Andy, could I talk to you a minute?
CHIP
No secrets here, Billie. We’re all good friends, right, Andy?
ANDY
We’re not good friends. We’re great friends! I’ve always maintained that.
ANDY (cont.)
(Silence. To BILLIE)
Your face looks red. Put some make-up on.
CHIP
Billie was telling me she went to the tanning salon yesterday. Got a little burned.
ANDY
Funny. I didn’t notice this morning.
CHIP
Married couples.
ANDY
Excuse me?
CHIP
I was saying that married couples –
ANDY
How did you know we were married?
CHIP
– take each other for granted sometimes.
(CHIP POPS OPEN the champagne)
ANDY
(pause)
Well, Billie’s been working and going to school. Getting an education. Wants to become a hairdresser.
CHIP
Is that right? She’ll have to finish high school first.
BILLIE
Already have. I’m going for my Operator’s License now.
CHIP
License?! Last time I was here you didn’t need no license.
You just needed a little protection –
BILLIE
Chip!
(Silence. CHIP takes the bottle and pours drinks all around. ANDY distributes the cakes. Then, HE raises his glass)
ANDY
To old times!
CHIP
To old times!
(fingering furniture and items in room)
So, you still a bouncer now? Or have you taken a step up since last time?
ANDY
Not really.
CHIP
What the hell is this, then?
(fingering a piece of embroidered cloth)
Inherited wealth?
BILLIE
(pause)
Andy’s doing medical research now.
CHIP
Medical!? What the hell’s going on here!
ANDY
No big deal. I’m just a lab technician. You know, blood samples and all.
CHIP
Jesus Christ! For what?
BILLIE
AIDS research. There’s big money in that.
CHIP
AIDS research! Hell, with the people we used to know, you must have clients all over the place.
BILLIE
Old movies, Chip.
(Pause)
CHIP
Remember my old place, Billie?
BILLIE
I said those were old –
CHIP
You used to make a lot of money in there.
BILLIE
Would you shut up!
CHIP
(HE extends his car keys to ANDY)
Run out to the black Buick and bring us that bottle in the trunk, would you?
ANDY
I don’t think that’s a good idea, Chip.
CHIP
Oh, sure it is. It’s a great idea!
ANDY
Look Chip, I’m your buddy. I’m your friend. We go way back.
CHIP
And that’s why we’re celebratin’. “Let old acquaintances be forgot…”
ANDY
What I’m trying to say is, we already have enough liquor.
CHIP
That’s not what you used to say -.
BILLIE
We don’t need to go into that now, Chip…
CHIP
Two tons of steel out of control! She pushed my arm. As a joke! She ever tell you that? And did I ever tell the cops? But now I’m setting the record straight!
ANDY
You look tired, Chip. Why don’t you sleep here, there’s no problem?
BILLIE
No, no problem at all. You can stay right here on the couch, sleep it off.
CHIP
Sleep what off? It’s only nine a.m. Time for you to go to work.
ANDY
I’m taking the day off, Chip. I want to spend it with you.
CHIP
What? In bed? Three’s a crowd.
(HE grabs BILLIE and pulls HER close to HIM)
Billie and I haven’t had a good bang ever since you johns stunk into her life!
(CHIP draws a gun)
You want to stand there and watch while I dick your babe?
(BILLIE shoves CHIP and the gun GOES OFF. ANDY drops. Then, BILLIE grabs his gun, there is a struggle, and one SHOT RINGS OUT. CHIP topples over on top of BILLIE. THEY fall to the floor. Silence. Then, BILLIE’S FINGERS extend upward, groping, until THEY come to rest on her glass of champagne.
SHE delicately brings the glass to her lips as the LIGHTS DIM SLOWLY AND FADE TO BLACK)
END OF PLAY